dont spoil the secret for others please.

the secret was bound to get out at some point.

welcome to the suicidal kids club.

ill spout bullshit here. nothing important.

really.

i wouldnt lie to someone i know as well as you.

somedays i wonder why any of you give a shit about me.

then i play around with a noose and cry for a while.

ill never do it, its selfish.

everyone else suffers while i get to escape.

not very fair, is it.

each of these may be their own thoughts.

what this is isnt up to me anyways.

its up to the person whos reading this.

somedays i wonder how much time ive wasted.

how i couldve spent the time better.

who couldve used it better.

i like how i use this as a blog more than the blog page itself.

what a waste.

today i almost did it.

was just going to sit outside and freeze to death.

i am not well both phyiscally and mentally.

the plan.

take a bike ride as far out as i can.

sit and wait.

where i go will not matter.

why do my friends tolerate me.

i bring nothing to them, yet they continue.

in my case of wanting to commit suicide, it is worthless.

i want to do it because i see those who love me and the only thing i seem to bring is anger or suffering.

i am aware this is not true and this illusion is only existant due to my warpped outlooked.

it is unfortunate.

fuck it.

im done.

i sit here month after month, staying alive purely because there are some who love me.

it is really hard to just sit here and want to leave, but not be able to with out harming others.

why did i have to be a empath.

DONT WORRY. IM STILL DEPRESSED!

ive just had many a thing to distract me, thanfully.

i belive music may have a bigger effect on us than many relise.

go home.